Prompt #21
My friends and I are constantly going on trips together. However, one trip stands out more than all the others. Towards the end of this past summer my friends and I went to Bar Harbor. We rolled down the windows to breathe in the fresh air and laughed as the wind blew our hair around. Music blasted through the car as we danced and sang along to our favorite songs. About twenty minutes into our trip we noticed a car following us. The car sped up and slowed whenever we did. Every stop and corner we turned the car was still in the rear-view mirror. We became concerned and our laughs turned nervous. We had no idea who was following us but knew that it was definitely not a coincidence. In an attempt to lose our pursuer, we made a last second turn into Acadia National Park. Not knowing where we were going we just kept driving. The mysterious car and its driver were no longer tailing us.
A few minutes in Acadia we found ourselves following the road up Cadillac Mountain. The music was turned down and we looked out the windows enjoying the views. Half way up the mountain we were startled by a beeping sound. The gas light was blinking, taunting us. We crossed our fingers hoping we wouldn't run out of gas in the middle of Acadia National Park. To make matters worse, even with all of our different phone carriers, none of us had cell phone reception. Even the radio and CD player stopped working. With no music all we had to do was think about our current situation and worry.
We were so happy and relieved to find our way out of Acadia and make it to a gas station. To treat ourselves we decided to stop at CJ’s Ice Cream shop before heading home. While we were enjoying our soft serve ice cream outside, all of sudden it started pouring. Not even done eating we threw our ice creams away and left the ice cream shop. The car was quite a walk away so we all jogged our way to the car, trying to get there as soon as possible. Traffic was horrible as people wanted to leave due to the unwelcome weather. Tourists were annoying and would not let us cross the street. Almost fifteen minutes later we were all wet sitting in a soaked car because we left the windows down. The rain just being an issue made the trip memorable along with the other hurdles we encountered during our trip.
I don't think simply recounting the events works as a story or a narrative. Unless that car really was following you or you ran out of gas or your day was ruined or your day was suddenly made magic by being followed or you all were really weirded out--or something! it doesn't work.
ReplyDeleteWell, I can't ask for a rewrite on a narrative like this because I don't want to put you in a position where you feel you have to fictionalize. But think about how in any piece you can work to create tension in the writing.